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Monday, May 21, 2012

Guest Post + Giveaway: The Cruise-All That Glitters by Jaye Frances

Thank you, Kels, for having me back on Kelsey’s Book Corner. I really appreciate the opportunity to give your readers a sneak peek at my new romance novella, The Cruise – All That Glitters.

Remember the old adage, “getting there is half the fun?” Not so for Dean, a mid-thirties bachelor on his way to Florida to take his first cruise. Sitting aboard an airplane with a “talker” on one side and a screaming child on the other, he’s beginning to re-think his choice of a dream vacation. In this excerpt, his flight is about to encounter some turbulence in the form of a youngster named Sheila.

Here’s an excerpt:

 At the front of the plane, people were dragging their bulky carry-ons down the narrow aisle, trying to find an empty overhead compartment. One of them, a pleasant looking woman in her mid-thirties, didn’t appear to have any baggage, but was definitely pulling something behind her. As she moved closer, I saw she had a child in tow—a little girl who was grabbing everything she could get her hands on, leaving a tornado trail of coats, bags, and pillows in her wake.

There were plenty of seats left, so I wasn’t concerned.

But they kept coming.

Finally, with only a single row remaining between us, I held my breath, praying for fate to intervene. But in one motion, the woman turned, picked up her kid and sat down next to me, dropping a squirming load of hyper-daughter into her lap.

“Hi,” she said. “I’m Rhonda. And this is my daughter, Sheila. We’re going to meet my sister and her husband in Miami, and then we’re all going on a cruise. Are you going on a cruise too?”

I glanced down the aisle, desperate for another seat, away from surely-divorced Rhonda and her offspring. “Ah, no,” I said, lying. I glanced over at crater-head. “Me and my partner here are registered male nurses. We’re on our way to Miami to buy used medical equipment. Rectal probes.”

“I see.” She smiled and looked at me thoughtfully.

As the plane pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant dispensed the standard safety rhetoric and I began paging through the in-flight magazine. Occasionally, I glanced over at little Sheila, who appeared settled in for the ride and was busy making faces at the passengers across the aisle. The plane began to taxi onto the runway. The child started to squirm.

“No, Sheila, no! Sit back!”

I looked up from my magazine to see Sheila’s pudgy little arms and legs quickly building speed. In seconds, she was up and over the armrest, her body now a whirling blur of kicks and punches. Torn pages from my magazine flew into the air as her fists and feet acquainted themselves with my most vulnerable body parts.

“Sheila!” her mother yelled. “Stop that! Get back here now!”

“NO!” Sheila screamed. Locking onto one of my ears, the devil child attached her other hand to the left side of my face. Digging both feet into my gut, she began to climb.

In a frantic attempt to regain control of her daughter, Rhonda yanked at her seatbelt and shot to her feet. “Sheila! You leave that nice man alone.”

Grabbing her daughter’s flailing legs, Ronda stretched her child into a perfect horizontal, but the little bitch seemed to instinctively know that a second fistful of hair would make a better handhold than my ear.

“Let go of him! You need to listen to me, young lady.”

“Noooooo!” she wailed.

Staring face-to-face with the now rabid Sheila, I could see she was determined to ride it out in her semi-flying position.

Hoping for better leverage, Rhonda managed to wedge herself between my knees and the seat in front. “I think I’ve got her. I’m really sorry. Sheila, you tell the nice man you’re sorry.”

“Arrraahhhhaaaa!” The snarl on Sheila’s face convinced me that indeed, she was not sorry, and she confirmed it with another ear-splitting shriek as she successfully extracted several dozen of my best hair follicles.

More screaming. I realized some of it was coming from me.

Brief Synopsis:
It’s love on the high seas for Dean, a thirty-something bachelor taking his first cruise, hoping for a shipboard romance. On the prowl for the elusive hard-body, he quickly becomes disillusioned, wondering if his expectation of a boatload of beautiful sea nymphs is something found only in travel brochures.

Until he meets Angel.

She is the girl of his dreams, brought to life as a bewitching goddess, ready to engage in every sensual delight. Quickly lured into submission by Angel’s seductive charms, Dean is ready to surrender his heart and soul to this provocative beauty.

Until he meets Marcie . . .

The Cruise – All That Glitters is available now
as a Kindle eBook on Amazon for only $.99
Author Bio:
Jaye Frances is the author of the new romance novella, The Cruise – All That Glitters, a humorous take on a shipboard romance, and the paranormal-occult romance book The Kure, the first novel in The Kure series. She is also a featured columnist for the NUSA SUN magazine. Born in the Midwest, Jaye readily admits that her life’s destination has been the result of an open mind and a curiosity about all things irreverent. When she’s not consumed by her writing, Jaye enjoys cooking, traveling to all places tropical and “beachy” and taking pictures—lots of pictures—many of which find their way to her website. Her other works include The Possibilities of Amy, a coming-of-age story about a high school romance, and an upcoming book titled Journeys From Above and Below the Belt, a collection of adult fiction novellas and short stories, scheduled for a Summer 2012 release. Jaye lives on the central gulf coast of Florida, sharing her home with one husband, six computers, four cameras, and several hundred pairs of shoes. For more information, visit Jaye’s website at, or Jaye’s Blog at


Jaye has graciously offered one (1) Kindle version of The Cruise – All That Glitters to a lucky reader of my blog! Just fill out the Rafflecopter form below for a chance...:D


Sophia Rose said...

LOL!! And I thought I'd had some rough flights with kids.

Thanks for sharing the excerpt and for the giveaway opportunity.